SUBTERRANEAN SUBWAY STORIES VI

I am compelled once again to write about the New York City Subway.

Not because of the terror attacks in London, but because they can send a man to the moon but they can’t fix the escalators in the Times Square Station. I just don’t get it. Old women (myself included) are forced to hike up and down 50 metal steps in 90-degree heat like an Olympic Tri-athlete!

And speaking of the Olympics – didn’t we desperately want to host them here in 2012? Does this mean we’ll have to wait until 2020 for the possibility of getting the escalators fixed??? Hello? This could mean a Barbara Walter’s Special.

While I’m on the subject of modern technology – How is it possible they can fit 1000 songs on a credit card that you can hear perfectly with tiny earphones - but they can’t fix the sound system in the stations so passengers are not forced to play a continual game of “Telephone” - “Huh – what’d she say?”

I’ve been riding the New York City Subway for practically my entire life. It’s gotten so I can put my mascara on in a moving train without poking my eye out. For my basic $4.00 fare ($76.00 monthly) I expect things to work - and on consecutive days. Like the escalators at Grand Central. Like the computerized MetroCard turnstiles so you don’t miss your train because you’re standing like a moron swiping your card for the hundredth time. Like the sound system so you’re not waiting for that train that never comes.

Soon there’ll be no attendants in the token booths which will be my cue to start jumping the turnstiles just like I did in High School. Hey, why not? I will have built up my stamina from those climbs up the escalator. I’ll save money and I won’t miss my train.

Oh, for anyone still interested…I’ve yet to see a bomb-sniffing dog on the Upper Westside. Obviously Mayor Bloomberg doesn’t travel my route. And in case you couldn’t make out what she said – “The # 9 doesn’t stop here anymore.”