SUBTERRANEAN SUBWAY STORIES III

Today's announcement upon arriving in the Times Square subway station - "The 1,2,3,7, 9 and Shuttle trains are all running - but slower." How much slower can they go? I've always thought that the very idea the 2 and 3 are "Express" in the first place is totally ridiculous! So what if the train skips a few stations, it still takes you most of your adult life to get home.

"Reuters", a new tenant in the Times Square district, has recently put 6 huge ugly concrete containers filled with dirt in front of their newly completed office building. Did that building go up fast enough, or what? You couldn't get me to ride an elevator in there. Anyway, these containers take up a tremendous amount of sidewalk space and for a minute I thought they might be putting trees in them. I can see now they are actually huge ashtrays for all the employees that come all the way downstairs to smoke outside in front of their building. And nobody ever brings a coat! They all stand outside freezing to death, but they're going to smoke that cigarette! I will say that these huge ugly concrete containers are being used on a regular basis, so at least the sidewalk stays clean. Eventually they may get around to planting something, but trust me; nothing is ever going to survive in that soil - except maybe tobacco plants.

I heard last night on the news that some restaurants are starting to place "Nicorette" gum on the tables just in case their patrons get a craving for a little tar and nicotine with dinner.

Watch for ashtrays to become the next big seller on eBay.