SUBTERRANEAN SUBWAY STORIES IV

WHAT'S THE POINT OF WEARING THE HEADPHONES IF THE WHOLE CAR CAN HEAR IT ANYWAY!

Maybe the MTA should start piping music into the trains...

This morning, in a quick change from the "Express" to the "Local" at 72nd, one fellow clawing his way into the car shouted above his fellow passengers, "COULD YOU MOVE IN THERE'S AN ENTIRE DANCE FLOOR BEHIND YOU!

You have to keep your sense of humor in these troubled times.

Suddenly a light bulb went on - If we have a dance floor, we could have a DJ. He could stand right in the middle of the damn car spinning those dual turntables with the woofers and sub woofers blaring at full capacity.

It could be a”Dance Car” - and there could be one on every single subway train for all those folks that felt like a little disco on their way to the office!

There could be a "Library Car" for the folks who need all that extra space so they can have their "New York Times" fully extended, and a "Dining Car" for all those geniuses with their piping hot Starbucks and their "Egg McMuffins". Ah, the smell of cooked eggs in a crowded car at 8:30 in the morning.

Having these designated cars suited to passenger's needs would cut down on all the pushing and shoving. People could decide ahead of time which car they wanted to ride in on that particular morning and that's where they'd get on. You would no longer be instructed to "use all the available doors".

The new subway motto would be -

You can now -
Be free to choose -
The available doors -
That you want to use.

There could even be a "Singles Car". A terrific way to meet new people - especially if you enjoy a total stranger sweating profusely onto your freshly dry-cleaned outfit or breathing in your face without brushing.

I love New York! I love new shoes. Kindly get off my foot!